Your dream guy?

Describe your dream guy...

That is the question girls keep asking one another when they are too young to get married, at that moment all girls act the same; she closes her pretty eyes and starts imagining her own fairy tale …

The funny thing is, no girl ever gets bored of answering this question, and every time you can see the girl's eyes shining while trying to imagine how her future husband will look like or how her grown-up life will be :)

Don't know what reminded me of those days, maybe it's that couple of movies I've been watching lately to kill time, anyway I started to recall how I used to imagine my grown-up life ..

When I was a child, I wanted my marriage house to include a swimming pool (I think the main reason was that my parents always refused my suggestion to build a swimming pool in the balcony!).

Then when I became a teenager and I was crazy about volleyball, I wanted to marry a volleyball player and have a volleyball playing place instead of the swimming pool at home (come-on, we are two players, we should be able to play volleyball whenever we want to!).

Two years after joining college I decided to quit volleyball and pay more attention to engineering (believe me, that was not an easy decision! and engineering wasn't the main reason behind it too :) but sounds like I was growing up..) my personality was changing step by step, learnt more about Allah and started to have more interest in studying Islam and getting closer to the Lord, and that's when I started to think differently of the guy I wanted to share the rest of my life with, I remember then I wanted him to be a good Muslim, knowledgeable about his religion and close to Allah, and wanted to have a little room in our house where we make our prayers and keep Islamic books. (I used to imagine him with a little black beard and a bright shining face) the reason that made me imagine my partner this way was that I believed that when a man gets closer to his Creator, he turns to be a kind person with good manners and a smiling face, I believed he'd treat me like a princess as prophet Muhammed used to treat his wives. But I didn't meet that perfect guy, maybe they're not very common or I just didn't meet a lot of them before.

But wait a second, something was still missing, I've always wanted to travel around the world. And finally I decided to marry that guy who's crazy enough to travel around the world with me :D beside his good manners of course. I don't think I'm very demanding, am I??

I know I'm growing up and sooner or later I'll say YES to somebody, I just believe marriage is a scary step and a girl shouldn’t rush into marrying the first guy who proposes to her unless he was her dream guy!

One problem a girl in our community may face is the people who are always trying to convince her of saying Yes to somebody she doesn't like enough. Well what I tell myself in these situations - and I’m writing this because I need to read it from time to time ;) - I'm not going to listen to those women who keep pushing me to say YES to anybody whom they think to be good enough, simply because when I grow older, I don’t want to have their ordinary boring life! I want to go to bed every night with a thankful and satisfied smile on my face and the last thing I look at before closing my eyes is the same smile on my husband’s face, put my head on his chest and tell my night’s last prayer: “please my Lord love my husband and make him always happy and satisfied” even after both of us lose our young face details, our smiles will always keep our faces bright.

القوارير

فى صمت

حدثته فغضب و علا صوته، كادا أن يتشاجرا. فوضعت له العشاء و خرجت تجلس فى صمت تفكر، هل أخطأت بحقه أم أنه بالغ فى ردة فعله، و بينما هى على هذا الحال خرج حاملا الأطباق الفارغة، وضعها بجانبها ثم مسح بيده على رأسها مصالحا إياها، فتحولت كل الأفكار برأسها إلى دموع منهمرة من مقلتيها.

كم تكره عصيان دموعها حين تأبى الاختباء

لم يفهموها

اجتمع الجميع ضدها، كيف تقدم له الكثير و تضحى من أجله بالكثير، و تتحمل فى سبيل التمسك به الكثير

لم يستطيعوا التخيل أن الأنثى حين تحب و تشعر بالحب تعطى بلا حدود و تضحى بلا حدود و تحتمل بلا حدود

فلتحتمل من أجله، و ليكافح من أجلها، و ليحفظ لها ربها قلبها من الغدر و الوجع

كشف عن جرح دون قصد

قال محاولا المساعدة، لعل المشكلة فى أسلوب حياتك، لعلها مليئة بالواجبات و المسئوليات و عليك التعامل مع الأمر بالإيمان و ... لم تسمع آخر الجملة و لكنها شردت للحظات، و مر شريط سريع من حياتها أمام عينيها، و تساءلت فى نفسها: لكننى راضية ربى، هل نطق لسانى بالتذمر؟ أعلم أنك لا تحملنى فوق طاقتى، رب اغفر لأمى، و سمحت لدموعها بالخروج دون أن يشعر بها عبر سماعة الهاتف، و دعته يكمل حديثه دون التعليق على هذه الكلمات.

كم تكره الحيرة، و عدم القدرة على اتخاذ القرار، خاصة عندما لا تستطيع الجمع بين عقلها و قلبها على رأى واحد، و يأبى كل منهما الخضوع لرأى الآخر. فتسأل بارئها أن يساعدها على الفصل فى الأمر، و تكتشف لأول مرة أشياء لم تكن تعرفها عن نفسها، و ينتهى الموقف باتخاذ القرار، و تخرج من التجربة أكثر فهما لنفسها و احتياجاتها، داعية بارئها أن يمنحها إياها

....رفقا بالقوارير

15 unplanned minutes

Have you ever felt like you've got coincidently 15 unplanned minutes while being through a very busy life, to stop and ask yourself, how should I use this gift to get out of this mess? Your mind starts passing by every single item you are planning to cover through your very busy life, seeking the suitable one to be achieved through your 15 minutes, but at the end it blocks! without being able to make the decision.

Then, after a strong stressed struggle with your thoughts, you just decide to give yourself a break and have one step back, out of these shouting responsibilities and unsatisfied dreams to finally stop and listen to your soul...

Checking her: Are you still alive? am I hurting you? I am working hard for you, can you please hold on with me? We have to keep doing this and it's only a matter of time. I promise to get back to you every now and then. Ping me if I forgot, even if I didn't pay attention, don't give up, and get me out of tracing my expectations. Please, keep my life balance!

أفتقدتك

أفتقدك كثيراً

و أكثر ما أفتقد.. رؤية الصواب فى عينيك.. يعكسه لسانك العطر الباسم

كالزهرة الرقيقة فى بستان وجهك المضىء :)

بينما الخطايا قد كسرت الأعين من حولى

اللهم لا تحرمنا أجرها، و لا تفتنا بعدها، و اغفر لنا و لها

دمعة فى عين من أحسن إليك

كم هو مؤلم أن ترى دمعة ألم فى عين من أحسن إليك، و قد ذقت ذلك الألم من قبل، و تعرف مدى صعوبته، فتتمنى لو استطعت أن تخفف عنه و لو جزء صغير منه، و تجد لدمعه صدى فى عينك و ألماً فى قلبك، فتسأل نفسك هل أنت تتألم لألمه، أم أنه قد أيقظ بداخلك ألماً تحاول تجاهله ليسكن و ينام فلا يلهيك عن ما خلقت له، أم أن ما تشعر به مزيج من ألمك و ألمه فكان بذلك أثقل عليك؟

فيجيب عقلك قلبك بأن هذه هى الحياة الدنيا، و يذكره بكل ما سمعت و قرأت و جربت من فوائد الابتلاء، و الصبر عليه، فالدنيا لا تصفى لأحد، و لرب البرايا فى عباده شئون و فى ابتلائه حكم، لا يعلمها إلا هو العليم الخبير، و مهما أعطاك شىء من الرحمة، فإن رحمته وسعت كل شىء سبحانه، و هو أرحم بعبده منك، و ما ذكر ذلك عقلك إلا بتذكير و توفيق من رب العقول

فاللهم فرج هم المهمومين ونفس كرب المكروبين، وأقض الدين عن المدينين، ويسر أمور المسلمين، و اشف مرضانا و مرضى المسلمين، و ارحم موتانا و موتى المسلمين. اللهم اجعل لنا من كل هم فرجاً، ومن كل ضيق مخرجاً، ومن كل بلاء عافية، ومن كل مرض شفاء، ومن كل دين وفاءً، ومن كل حاجة قضاءً، ومن كل ذنب مغفرة ورحمة، و ارزقنا الإخلاص و القبول، و الهمنا رشدنا و دبر لنا أمورنا، و آتنا فى الدنيا حسنة و فى الآخرة حسنة و قنا عذاب النار، إنك ولى ذلك و القادر عليه

و صلى اللهم و سلم و بارك على نبينا محمد و على آله و صحبه و التابعين، و آخر دعوانا أن الحمد لله رب العالمين

نسينا

غضب، أسف، حزن و قلق ... مشاعر متداخلة تصف ما خلفته الأحداث المؤخرة من أثر فى نفسى، و السخط من معظم ردود الأفعال، و تراكمت الاعتراضات فى ذهنى حتى أننى لم أعد أحصيها من كثرتها، و كلما جلست أمام التلفاز لا أجد حديثا يشغل الناس سوى كراهية الجزائر و المطالبة بالانتقام منهم و ألمح الغضب قد بدأ يتسلل الى ذهنى، فأطفئ التلفاز و أقرر الاستعانة بالكميوتر لنسيان الأمر و لو لبضع دقائق و ما أن أفتح الموقع الالكترونى صديق الملايين "الفايس بوك" فأجد الوطنية قد اشتعلت لدى كل المعارف و الأصدقاء لمواجهة عدو جديد ظهر على الساحة يسمى "الجزائر"...أشهد الله أنى ما وجدت فى نفسى الآن و أنا أكتب كلمة "الجزائر" الا مودة..و عقل قلق من أن يضطر لمحو و استنكار هذه الكلمات يوما إن تبدلت مشاعره، سائلا رب العقول أن يسدده

لماذا نسينا أيام مباركة انتظرناها للتعبد فيها و لطلب المغفرة و النجاه من رب المغفرة و النجاة؟ نسينا التفكر فى الحج و شعائره و طلب الكرامة من الله بزيارة البيت الحرام؟ نسينا انتخابات الرئاسة؟ نسينا أنفلونزا الخنازير و تدهور التعليم بالمدارس و الأسر القلقة على أبنائها سواء من المرض أو من الفشل الدراسى؟ نسينا حربا قامت على النقاب؟ آآآه يا بلد كلك مشاكل

أم نسينا مشكلة نشأنا عليها و صار الحلم بالقضاء عليها أبعد الأحلام عنا، فألقيناه فى حقيبة المستحيل لنخرس إلحاحه الموجع فى آذان خذلاننا و لنريح ضمائرنا...نسينا الأقصى؟ القدس؟ اليهود؟

.نسينا عدوا يئسنا منه و لكنه أبدا لم ينسانا، أدرنا له ظهورنا فى الوقت الذى يهم فيه بالقضاء علينا، سفاهة منا لا أكثر

...نسينا أم تناسينا؟ كفاك يا بلدا جرحت قلبى و أخشى أن يطيش يوما بسببك عقلى

Are you blind? - A silent journey -

Have you ever asked yourself if you can see every thing? if you know every thing? if you can guide yourself? will you be asked to guide somebody someday?
How about watching this video that brought up a number of questions to my mind...
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May be these questions you have to answer them yourself, but..
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اللَّهُ نُورُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ مَثَلُ نُورِهِ كَمِشْكَاةٍ فِيهَا مِصْبَاحٌ الْمِصْبَاحُ فِي زُجَاجَةٍ الزُّجَاجَةُ كَأَنَّهَا كَوْكَبٌ دُرِّيٌّ يُوقَدُ مِن شَجَرَةٍ مُّبَارَكَةٍ زَيْتُونِةٍ لَّا شَرْقِيَّةٍ وَلَا غَرْبِيَّةٍ يَكَادُ زَيْتُهَا يُضِيءُ وَلَوْ لَمْ تَمْسَسْهُ نَارٌ نُّورٌ عَلَى نُورٍ يَهْدِي اللَّهُ لِنُورِهِ مَن يَشَاء وَيَضْرِبُ اللَّهُ الْأَمْثَالَ لِلنَّاسِ وَاللَّهُ بِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ عَلِيمٌ

Silence...

Have you ever felt like silence is the friend you need to stay with for a while? Just like asking for a timeout in the middle of the game to listen, watch, understand and think silently.


So, as long as I'm staying with my new friend, I thought of sharing with you some of what I read and listen to -without my own comments- may be you would like to build your own castle of thoughts too, or find your way as I'm trying to do...


Lets start by this Islamic lecture by Sheikh Mohamed Hassan.

The Planet of Light

Once upon the time there was a small planet called “the planet of light”, It was called so because of its shining light rays which used to lighten its neighboring planets.

Having a closer look at the planet’s creatures…finding those magic decorations...how wonderful they are…and their colors are fabulous. You would stare at one of them for hours without feeling bored, they look so bright too, not surprising…it’s the planet of light!

Who are living there? Any creatures? Humans? No way…they would have spoilt this beauty…
Guess what…yes humans live there…strange, right?
But those people are different, their faces are so bright, they look so happy, enjoying themselves, always smiling, rarely angry, they are all friends…seams like this planet has no enemies on its surface.

But... one day, some people lived in neighboring planets who were so jealous, decided to ruin the planet of light, steal the happiness from its people’s hearts, replacing it by sadness, sorrow and guilt, which would force darkness to be shown on their faces, removing their bright smiles. They started working hard to find such a brilliant plan.

Why would those losers do that? Why don’t they just migrate to the light planet? Live with its loving people, learn how to acquire such happiness and good manners?
Or simply try to find out what’s wrong with their planet and try to follow the light planet’s rules of happiness? Ask the light people for their help and advice? Why would they just ruin the light people's beauty to feel beautiful?

Will they find this good plan? Are they smart enough? If they are, why can’t they see the real source of happiness and light? What about the light people? Are they really going to be deceived? No Way…they are the light people!! They can’t lose their brightness…can they? Will the light disappear? Won’t there be a light planet any more? Can the light visit the planet again?

To Be Continued…

The Sea

It was one of those days, when we feel that we can’t hold on, bad things are just happening, sadness is staying in our hearts, holding pain in its hands, and we are standing helpless, we have many things to do too, trying to get any thing done. But all we get is failure which is running to join our sadness, turning off the lights of our hearts.

It was the weekend, the end of a very long week I felt, I was waiting for this day, I needed a vacation but two or three days weren’t enough for me. I felt like I needed a break to reorganize my thoughts, fix the broken things, get rid of the unwanted ones and try to find a way to keep the good ones.

I knew where I needed to go, but haven’t time to go any where, it’s one of my favorite places, visiting my best friend; it’s the sea, the lovely, wide blue sea.
I convinced an old and close friend of mine to come with me; we used to go there few years ago, it's there where we had very beautiful memories.

We decided to walk till we arrived there, we sat down, and both of us knew that silence was needed for a while, I felt I wanted to stay there forever, the sea was just in front of us extended to the left and to the right, all what we had to do was not to look behind, so as not to spoil the scene. may be that’s what we have to do with our lives too and what I needed to understand; “not to look behind”…

Don’t know what a magic touch it has, like it absorbs the sadness from our hearts and clears our minds with its fresh cold air.
I think it contacts my heart and mind with its wonderful view, telling me: every thing will be ok, Allah will never leave you alone, hold on, you can do it, just go back to your life, fix your problems, and if you got hurt, come back to me, I’ll always be here, and thank Allah for enabling you to come here.
I think I’ll always thank Allah for creating this wonderful sea.

Time passed quickly, it was getting late and cold, we had to go home or we were going to face troubles. We walked the way home; it was a long but a nice one. I think I woke up the following day, ready to face things, fix the misunderstandings, get rid of the sorry thoughts, just decided to face life the way it is.

So no matter how disappointed or depressed you are, you have to find your way out of your sadness, create your own ways, never stop till you feel you are really happy, and that’s how Allah will help you.

Finally, I would like to tell you about some nice links you may use if you aren’t feeling ok:
http://www.islamway.com/?iw_s=Lesson&iw_a=view&lesson_id=10825
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s824SSmTycg http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4cZJU3XcW8&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOTldQYckFI&NR=1

Can we control our feelings(2)?

Can we control our feelings? It seemed a very difficult question and so complicated. Sometimes we are weak, some other times we are wise, confused, mad, smart, lost or stupid. Having a closer look there, you may feel like you are arguing with yourself, blaming it, or discover a conversation taking place between you and yourself!!
Asking, wondering: who is talking to whom? It’s just me…

May be that’s what brought a strange idea to my mind, but I think it made me see things clearer, or made me feel more able to control the way I’m spending my life.

How about looking at the self as a three members’ family? Three in one, I think that could make us feel more powerful. Who are the members?
The soul: which is like a helpless pure young baby.
The mind: the wise, smart and responsible one.
The emotion: so sensitive, touchy, kind but mad.
Both the mind and the emotion have only one goal; the happiness of the soul.
“Our souls are so weak and helpless so we should really never hurt them”.

The mind may start doing some thing, thinking it’s going to make the soul happier, like starting a new job, practicing sports…etc. The emotion will follow, waiting for the aimed result, may feel scared, bored, or excited.

Or the emotion will start; the mind will follow, but carefully, trying to be ready to stop the emotion from acting madly.

When both of them are concentrating, doing their best and cooperating, they will achieve their goal and the family will be happy. But unfortunately that’s too ideal. So that’s not what happens…

To be continued...

The mid-year vacation

The midyear vacation, it is just like stopping in the middle of the road looking all around, looking backward then forward…thinking…Am I happy? Am I satisfied? Is that the right path? Will I find my dreams waiting for me there…Waving...at the end of the road? Am I ready to go on? Am I controlling my life well? Or I’m just living…Staying inside a taxi and forgot to tell the driver where I wanted to go, so he’s just driving, going somewhere …may be getting closer to my destination or missing it…

And usually, the answers are not as they are aimed to be. So, the only way to fix things is to wait, take a breath, and decide to sit down for a while…rethink…now what??
Life must go on, then if I just have to keep walking, I should find the right path, inspiring…isn’t it?

Then asking the same questions again but in a different way this time; why am I not satisfied? Why am I not happy? Is it really the right path? But how should I know? There must be something wrong…but…what is it?

Then think…think…and think, may be I just should do this or that. May be my journey will be better too if I started doing this…hmmm any thing else? Wait for a while …ok done, time to go on, complete my journey, and catch my dreams.

And whenever feeling that sadness is trying to find its way to my(your) heart, we will just stop again, find new plans for our journeys, and go on, till our journeys are over, leaving footprints showing that one day we were here...

The Dark Rooms

I remember I first decided to create my own blog about a year or two years ago, but I think I got busy and forgot about it, and here it is!!

I think a personal blog is an easy way to know the character of its owner, his/her thoughts which aren’t always expressed in public, not shared with close friends or relatives. They form that hidden part of his/her personality. Actually they are not always that well hidden, but they sometimes find their way out in different situations.

Does every body have a hidden part of personality? Why? Is it really hidden? Is that better? Is it kept from every body??

I think yes every body has that dark room inside, where nobody is allowed to enter except the house owner, but why does the owner keep it dark, keeping its keys, not letting anybody in? may be nobody wants to enter, or only the owner can appreciate his room and no body else will be able to get its beauty, or just nobody has enough time to visit dark rooms, also may be people like having privacy, like being mysterious and misunderstood.
But it doesn’t mean that the owners never let guests visit their dark rooms, visits are allowed from time to time, but short ones, and only to the parts the owner allows the visitors to explore, it also depends on the visitor.

finally i believe that thinking about the way people act, the way they think, and the reasons behind their acts, makes one able to get oneself first, and then get others.